Monday, August 3, 2009

8/3/09

Broken.
Hurt.
That is the only way I can explain how I am doing.
Everything is going in the right direction.
Life is starting to come back together.
But I am still having trouble.
I know that I will only be stronger from this.
I have learned a lot.
I have learned how to be myself again.
I am finding out more and more about the situation everyday.
I know that I was the BEST wife that I could be.
I was faithful something he cannot say.
I am at peace that I am out of that relationship.
Why did I let the past 3 years go by without doing something.
Why did I let myself stay so unhappy.
Why did I let someone treat me that way.
Why did I let myself go.
In the mix of it all, I have now lost a good friend.
This was the friend that helped me get everything started.
He was the one that pointed out that I was hiding it all.
I loved this person and now I am having to get over this loss as well.
I will always be thankful for you.
I will miss you for a while.
I do hope that life turns around for you.
Why do I cry every morning.
I have wonderful friends, and the best family.
I love my new job.
I am dropping pounds.
I am trying to look to the future.

12 comments:

  1. Oh Nicole... I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling. All I can tell you is that this is a process - and no doubt the newest loss is a setback in the process.

    Just like abuse comes with phsychological effects that you can't see in the moment... so does everything else - and Honey - you're growing stronger everyday. You may not see it - but I do.

    You've never looked happier, healthier or stronger.

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  2. Hang in there, Nicole! I have the upmost faith that you can and will rise from this and be a newer, better you! : )

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  3. Hang in there girl! You know i'm so proud of you & stand behind you 100%. You're doing a great job & you are so better off now. I'm praying for you & know I'm here if you need me...ANYTIME! :) *hugs*

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  4. Keep your head up...each day gets easier and easier!

    As they say, this to shall pass. :)

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  5. hang in there pretty girl! You deserve nothing but the best!

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  6. I love you and I'm praying for you. You know that you're better off without him, and he will always be miserable (even though he may pretend otherwise). You're a beautiful, strong woman and I have so much respect for you! I know there is someone out there for you that is absolutely amazing!!! We will find him. Haha!

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  7. Nicole I love you and admire how strong you are! You deserve so much better than that and he will soon know what he is missing and he will be the one upset! Call or text me we still need to go walking!

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  8. Sounds like I have missed a lot!!!! Please know - I'm just an email away if you need to talk!!! =) I'm sorry you are going through this!!!! Sounds like you will be WAY better off!!!!!

    (((HUGS)))

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  9. Thats all you can do honey...move forward with your life. You did nothing wrong & you can't change someone that doesn't want to change for the better. You deserve so much better & I know you will find it someday.
    Always here if you need to talk...miss you.
    Bonnie

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  10. I am feeling your pain and your strength and it leeds me back to 7 years ago when it was me after 12 years of always doing the best that I could but having to put up with his wrongs.

    Stay strong and know that you will come out of this as an even stronger woman and that your friends are here for you when you need them.

    Hugs
    Peta

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  11. You are one brave woman! And I am so proud of you for holding your head up high and moving on. Good for you. Just keep praying God will see you through this time.

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